The View from the Pew

Constance McMillen's "Fake Prom" (Mississippi Goddamn indeed)

2010-04-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

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In 1963 Nina Simone wrote a song called "Mississippi Goddamn". Even today, it's an in-your-face political and social statement on the sad, pathetic state of affairs in the South. Racism.

She was tired of it, and let you know. The (partial) lyrics below do not even begin to describe the depth and strength of her song. In my opinion, it is well worth your time to catch it on YouTube. It's powerful and you can't help but feel her pain. Go watch it, then come back here and finish this post ;)

Unfortunately, the racial divide remains in the South. Ignorance and hate is still alive and well. This time though, the focus is on a High School Senior, Constance McMillen.

Constance wanted to take another female to the prom. The school canceled the prom, and a group of parents put on a private prom. Supposedly, Constance was sent an invite, but when she showed up, there were less than 10 kids there. They had sent her to a fake prom. Here are pictures from the actual prom. No Constance.

What is the Itawamba County School District and the parents of the Seniors trying to teach their kids?

What do they have to fear from this couple attending?

What is there to gain by ostracizing these girls?

How will these kids feel in 10 years for their part in Hate Prom 2010?

IN THE YEAR 2010 THIS LEVEL OF HATE IS STILL BEING ACCEPTED IN THE UNITED STATES.

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

It makes me sick. This has NOTHING to do with a left or right agenda, or trying to shove anyone's beliefs down their throats. It is simply about equality for all, regardless of sexual orientation.

Like Nina said, "You don't have to live next to me/Just give me my equality."

Mississippi Goddamn indeed.

Lryics of Mississippi Goddamn by Nina Simone (1963).

The name of this tune is Mississippi Goddam
And I mean every word of it

Alabama's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

Alabama's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

Can't you see it
Can't you feel it
It's all in the air
I can't stand the pressure much longer
Somebody say a prayer

Alabama's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

This is a show tune
But the show hasn't been written for it, yet

Hound dogs on my trail
School children sitting in jail
Black cat cross my path
I think every day's gonna be my last

Lord have mercy on this land of mine
We all gonna get it in due time
I don't belong here
I don't belong there
I've even stopped believing in prayer

Don't tell me
I tell you
Me and my people just about due
I've been there so I know
They keep on saying "Go slow!"

But that's just the trouble
"do it slow"
Washing the windows
"do it slow"
Picking the cotton
"do it slow"
You're just plain rotten
"do it slow"
You're too damn lazy
"do it slow"
The thinking's crazy
"do it slow"
Where am I going
What am I doing
I don't know
I don't know

Just try to do your very best
Stand up be counted with all the rest
For everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam
I made you thought I was kiddin' didn't we

Picket lines
School boycotts
They try to say it's a communist plot
All I want is equality
for my sister my brother my people and me

Yes you lied to me all these years
You told me to wash and clean my ears
And talk real fine just like a lady
And you'd stop calling me Sister Sadie

Oh but this whole country is full of lies
You're all gonna die and die like flies
I don't trust you any more
You keep on saying "Go slow!"
"Go slow!"

But that's just the trouble
"do it slow"
Desegregation
"do it slow"
Mass participation
"do it slow"
Reunification
"do it slow"
Do things gradually
"do it slow"
But bring more tragedy
"do it slow"
Why don't you see it
Why don't you feel it
I don't know
I don't know

You don't have to live next to me
Just give me my equality
Everybody knows about Mississippi
Everybody knows about Alabama
Everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

The power of Working Together for Change (QOTD)

2010-02-08T04:41:00.000-08:00

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
~Margaret Mead
~US anthropologist & popularizer of anthropology (1901 - 1978)

What do you see in your world that needs to change?

What are you doing about it?

Simple Act of Kindness.

2010-02-05T13:17:00.000-08:00

Oscar Wilde once said, "The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention."

I've taken to a new habit at work, writing a thank you note a day. Sometimes it's to a vendor, or customer, or trucker, or even a customs broker. I'm always careful to say thanks on the phone, but how often do you get a thank you note. I do it not only to stand out, but also because I'm sincere. Without the help of dozens of people a day, I could not succeed at my job.

Today, I noticed Real Simple (a guilty pleasure of mine!) posted an article on Simple Ways to Make Someone's Day. It gave some great ideas, but don't underestimate the power of the Thank You Note!

link to article:
Simple Ways to Make Someone's by Real Simple

So many times, we are so wrapped up in getting to the next place, we are not present in our current location. Our mind is elsewhere. When that happens, we fail to see all that is happening around us, including people.

My hope for today is that I do not fail to recognize those who help and support me.

I see the light of Christ... and it's not in the Pews

2010-01-27T15:13:00.000-08:00

Two different conversations has brought me to almost a stand still today. I look at my paperwork, and I look at my to-do list, and I look at the things I'm saving my money for and all I can think about is:

What is the point?

Really? We bust our asses working for a company that only very few of us believe in, but mostly it's a means to pay the mortgage and for private school. One hundred years from now, will my great-great grandchildren really know or care that I saved up for a year to remodel my bathroom?

Does my short-term happiness in owning that (insert name of object here) matter to those who have nothing? My future grandchildren? The people of Haiti?

I'm finding it harder and harder have enjoyment in my home. It's just things that mean nothing, but in some strange paradox are seemingly important at the time.

Around Christmas a co-worker told me about a morning radio show he was listening to where a family had lost everything (fire?) and people were calling in donations to help them have a decent Christmas for their kids. One guy called in who was a sandwhich maker at Subway. He probably makes $8 an hour and has his own money problems. He gave $100. I was told that story 6 weeks ago and can not get it out of my head.

The second incident that has brought me to a complete distraction today is the following:

PRESS RELEASE
LOCAL NEWS
IMMEDIATE RELEASE
January 25, 2010

Homeless Guests at Kansas City Rescue Mission
Collect Money for Haitian Relief
“Heart to Heart will receive a very sacrificial gift this week,” said Chaplain Joe Roberts.

Kansas City, Mo.—When homeless men at the Kansas City Rescue Mission, 1520 Cherry Street, learned of the tragedy in Haiti, many stepped up to offer what little they had during three evening chapel services late last week.

Their collection — a total of $132.42 — will be donated to Heart to Heart International’s Haiti Quake Response efforts.

“These men have no homes of their own. Many have no contact with their own families, have only the clothing on their backs and rely on KCRM for shelter, food, medical care and hope,” said Chaplain Joe Roberts. “Yet when they learned about the tragedy in Haiti, they gave very sacrificially to help folks who were suffering even more.”

Pete Brumbaugh, a spokesman for Heart to Heart International, said, “This disaster in Haiti has touched so many lives, including those who are finding hope at the Kansas City Rescue Mission. We are humbled by their gifts, which show us that everyone has something to give to this massive relief effort providing healing and hope to the survivors.”

To learn more, for interviews and photos, please contact Development Officer Julie Larocco at (816) 421-7643, ext. 41, (816) 699-3029 (cell) or jlarocco@kcrm.org.

Kansas City Rescue Mission is a Christ-centered community offering freedom and hope to the poor and homeless, empowering them to reach their full potential.

Homeless men gave all they had to the victims of Haiti. All.

I'm worrying about a bathroom remodel? I'm going to go sit in my corner now and figure out how to make these feelings feed change.

If the Subway worker and a group of homeless men living in a shelter can give to those around them in that way.... no matter how much time, money, or donations I've given in my life up until now.... NONE of it is even remotely enough.

People like to go to church on Sundays and raise their hands and talk about the love of Christ? There you go. Right there. In real terms.

The question is : What am I going to do with this knowledge now?

Finding Peace in Our Lives.

2009-03-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Last night I read from Being Peace and the following passage jumped out at me:

There is a Zen story about a man who is riding a horse that is galloping very quickly. Another man, standing alongside the road, yells at him, “Where are you going?” And the man on the horse yells back, “I don’t know, ask the horse!” I think that is our situation. We are riding many horses that we cannot control. (Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace, Parallax Press, Berkeley, CA, 1987)

I think sometimes in our lives we allow things to lead us, until we're unable to control the direction life is leading us.

It would be nice to wake up tomorrow and know where I am leading my horses rather than wondering where my horses will lead me.

Tweets and Thoughts on Attending a Mega-Church

2009-03-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

Today on twitter MethoBlog sent out a tweet I recognized was authored by one of the pastors at my church. I responded, and it twitter format, here is how the conversation went (my comments in bold). By the way, I don't feel bad posting this, since its easily accessible by looking at my twitter history and his.

@methoblog Those are the ministers from my church! Good to see they get the recognition they deserve! :)

methoblog@justjenks consider yourself blessed to have such gifted people around your church body

@methoblog is it sad to say the experiences w staff is why I go back? It's NOT being surronded by 10,000 people I don't know. ;)

methoblog @justjenks i, personally, would have a tough time with the shear numbers of your church as well.

As the day went on, my comment about my church weighed on me. Why do I go back? Why I am I unhappy when I church hop to find "the right one"? What kind of pressure does comments like this put on our pastors?

Pastors in our church are assigned members by alpha-sorting. A-D get Pastor 1, E-K get Pastor 2, etc. Personally, I have no clue who my assigned Pastor is, because I choose to go to the West Campus. If one of the staff over there is unavailable, then I guess I do without because I don't "know" the staff at the main campus.

The stated purpose of our church is : To build a Christian community where non-religious and nominally religious people are becoming deeply committed Christians.

I think that's wonderful, but I think where my disconnect started years ago was I felt lost and in between those two points. I'm no longer nominally religious, but I'm certainly not mature in my faith. My assigned Pastor wouldn't know me if they bumped into me at the market. Said Pastor certainly when assigned hundreds of members, can not have the time to sit down with me and talk to me about my struggles in faith.

So, why do I go back? I think during my short run tonight I need to ponder that.

I think it has to do with a few connections I've made. It has a lot to do with the fact its familiar (10 years and going). I enjoy the heart of the sermons, although I feel too much media is used. And lately, I have started to have hope that I can get involved in a few areas and make a difference.

One item missing from that list of reasons? I don't go back for the sense of community. After all, 10,000 people at church is about 7500 more people than was in my whole town growing up. That's not a community, that's a small city.

Am I a Young Adult? Or Just an Adult now?

2009-02-12T20:45:00.001-08:00

I need to check out the qualifications for those "young adult" activities I don't attend. What if I'm no longer a Young Adult? What if I'm just an Adult? I don't feel like one of the old ones. Is being a parent an automatic disqualification from this church group? LOL. Since I didn't go to the young adult activities, will I still not attend the adult activities? Why did I not feel old before I starting wonder if I'm too old for the Young Adult group anymore?

Who is my neighbor?

2009-02-11T14:49:00.000-08:00

Something today reminded me of a conversation between my daughter and me about a year ago (she was 5) in the car (where all the best conversations happen) going through downtown KC.

A : Why are there people under that bridge? It's cold out.

Me : Well, um, yeah, well, um, they live there honey.

A : why?

Me : they have no other place to go.

A : Can't they go home?

Me : No, they can't, they don't have one.

A : can't their mother give them a place to live if they don't have a home?

Me : my guess is honey they don't have any family to live with.

A : (starts crying) Mama, I think we should give them a home to live in or they can stay with us.

I remember at that point, all I could respond with was, "I wish we could honey."

She had not yet developed that callousness of they're probably drunks, or addicts, or too lazy to work, or any of the other snap judgments people tend to make. I always give the guy on the corner a dollar if I have one. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt that this dollar matters in his day.

When I hear projects to help those in need, it's easy to get caught up in the big ones that sound impressive or the exotic ones in other countries.... and I'm not discounting those programs at all, but I wonder how we (me) can find the invisible neighbors. The neighbor we don't see that sits in the back row of church and doesn't say a word, or the elderly neighbor on our street who never has a visitor, or even the kid that we see that just doesn't seem to belong.

I'm still working on how I can take these musings and use my life to help the invisible neighbors. Until I do, I think my life is incomplete and not totally compatible with the way I want to live my life.

Trifecta of Disaster

2009-02-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

Very rarely do I cross-post between my two blogs, but thought someone might find the humor in my not-so-humorous workout this week! haha

In January, I had a crazy friend talk me off the fence about a triathlon. Found one for July, so luckily I have some time, but not much.

First things first, I have to learn to swim. Keep in mind, I can swim playing around at the pool, lake, or in the ocean, but have never swam a lap before Jan 2009. Seriously. So, I noticed the community center is offering a triathlon swim class on Saturday mornings. I take it and have been trying to practice at lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

This weeks practice? The trifecta of disaster.

First. I walk out in my swim suit to only discover another trader from another company works out at my gym and is sitting in the hot tub. I've known him 12 years. Greeeeat, an audience. Disaster part 1.

Secondly, I suck at swimming. Truly this is one of the hardest things I've had to learn and I hate not doing anything well. I am also convinced I am going to die this summer of cancer of the stomach considering how much pool water I manage to ingest. Dear lord, how hard can this be? I gulp so much air, I burp chlorinated water for an hour after practicing. My stomach will hurt for 2 hours after a practice haha

Third, the middle aged men at the pool don't help. They are swimming 2 or 3 laps to my one then like to head over to the hot tub and watch me struggle. Keep in mind, these men have bellies bigger round than my ass circumference and look like they would have a coronary if they tried touch football with their grandkids. They like to comment on how "this week looks a lot better than last". Did I mention colleague from other company is watching all of this?

So, add together:
water in stomach +
middle aged men kicking my butt +
audience from a colleague I wish had never seen me in a swim suit
= trifecta for disaster.

Said friend who kicked me off the fence? He said, "it sucks until it doesn't." I hope he's right.

Who Stole my Jesus revisited.

2009-01-19T21:17:00.000-08:00

Last May I wrote: http://view-from-the-pew.blogspot.com/2008/06/who-stole-my-jesus-part-1.html. Which basically is a spin off of a book I read. My Jesus was stolen from me.

Almost a year later, I think I better defined the Jesus I was seeking (is that really Him though, or am I pushing him into my box?), but it's still not clear. I also have not found a community which shares that lens. Sometimes I'm jealous of the happy-clappy-fundamentalist-bible-cheering-crowd. Seriously. They have support in numbers. If you think about it, there is no shortage of people to claim the republicans divinity, abortion is the biggest threat to Christianity, and that all non-Christians are damned. Unfortunately, I don't fit into that mass, so I'm back to square one.

I found that if you start questioning that Jesus had to die. Or if Jesus was even divine, and suddenly you're alone in a crowd.

Jesus is out there. I could tell you 2 experiences of how I know, but short of coming out a Minister's mouth, you'd probably think I was crazy. Lord knows I wonder some days myself.

I thought I would have found my Jesus by now. He's not where I've been looking, so as Einstein might suggest... in order to prevent insanity, it's time to stop looking where I've been and try somewhere new.

"Christian" Music has forever been ruined for me.

2009-01-19T20:52:00.001-08:00

First it was South Park.

Then The Wittenburg Door.

Now, I can't listen to it on the radio or in church without giggling a little. Why? Read On....

I was never a fan of Contemporary "Christian" music to begin with. I mean, some of it is ok, but the rest of it to me is redundant, repetitive, and boring. To me, it doesn't praise the Lord, it's all about ME! ME! ME! Jesus save ME! Jesus help ME! MY relationship with you. Ad naseum....

It was kind of a secret. Something you can laugh about with your atheist and agnostic friends, but not something I would bring up at church. Then I realized I wasn't alone with the summer edition of Wittenburg Door's guide to Contemporary Christian Music : http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/your-guide-contemporary-christian-music

before that though, was a South Park episode where the boys decide they want to start Christian Rock Band (for the platinum record , not to inspire). It really funny if you can get past the language. IMO. It does make a point about the music. Basically they take old love songs and at the end of each line, they say, "Jesus". One example is "Three Times a Lady" by the Commodores is changed to "Three Times my Savior". Funny because I swear I've heard the same thing on Sunday.

If you love CCM and it works for you, by all means keep listening. I'm not sure the collection on my ipod would inspire you the same way it inspires me. On the other hand, if CCM lovers think this music is going to appeal to the young nominally religious crowd, they should probably rethink their game plan. If I'm annoyed by the sound of the music, I am pretty sure the message will be lost on me.

I'm just glad I'm not alone in my annoyance. Thanks SP and WD!

Dolphus Weary and notes in the margin.

2009-01-17T20:35:00.000-08:00

My little one and I went today to listen to a speaker at church, Dr Dolphus Weary. Google him for his biography, that's not what I want to spend space on.

He spoke briefly about his book, I Ain't Comin Back and spoke a lot about race within the Christian community. If you read my blog at all, you know I've lost my Jesus, so I find speakers who talk about "Christian community" fascinating. Throw in my personal interest of urban plights and I am one captivated audience member. I could have listened to him for another 90 minutes.

On his biographical information sheet, I wrote in the margins... Not every note will become a blog entry, but most will ;) Here we go in order my notes:

Racism no more in the body of Christ
How is God preparing us for this?
How do you arrive at your own answers?
Where does compassion lead us?
How do we bring God here now?
Where are you running to? Where are you running from?
We allow other things to get in the way of dealing with racism (the elephant)
What positive influence to I give to my family?
More to do with exposure than intelligence
The gospel must break across historical barriers
The problem with poor communicities is they aren't exposed to people who open up their world
We don't have relationships. Relationships take time
Be willing to be a learner
Help me understand your lens.
Planning. working. dreaming.
people are quick work, but slow to build relationship

Out of context to someone who didn't hear his talk today, these things might seem odd and random. But each one elicits a strong emotion from me. Each one screams at me based on things I want to accomplish in my life, and things I've done.

Our vision, whether it's at COR or in another capacity, should be to reconcile and walk together.

Erring on the Side of Mercy

2009-01-05T22:40:00.000-08:00

erring on the side of mercy......

Seems simple enough. If you're not sure, EOTSOM. Right?

In a situation would you rather judge or EOTSOM?

[Not sure I'll ever use this acronym/abbreviation again, but I'm not sure I want to type it out again and again and feel lazy to c/p LOL ]

When I err on the side of mercy and it appears I made the "wrong" choice, did I really?

Baby Jesus, forgive me!

2008-12-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

Christmas is all about The Baby. I mean, who doesn't like The Baby? It's a great story and full of hope and face it... (most) babies are just darn cute. I have no doubt that the holy glow about Jesus made him cuter than most.

Even Talladega Nights paid homage to The Baby before every dinner:

Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces... new born infant jesus,don't even know a word yet.

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son's, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

Usually, I don't even like those types of movies, but this cracked me up. So, why does Baby Jesus need to forgive me?

Well, first of all for laughing at that movie.

Mostly though, it has to do with Christmas. Christmas Eve to be exact. This should be a time of celebration of His birth. Instead, millions of parents across the country come home from midnight candlelight service and turn into a amateur Santa Claus. That is not the bad part... the bad part is what comes out of my mouth when it's 2am and I can't figure out why the playhouse is not fitting together. (No way am I buying her a bike for Christmas) Seriously, I don't celebrate my daughters birthday by a barrage of evil thoughts and words only suitable for HBO against toy makers and why instructions always seem to lack one important piece of information. So, why does this seem impossible to avoid on Christmas Eve?

I may pray in the wee hours Christmas morning, but it is admittedly a selfish prayer. Somewhere along the lines of, "Dear Lord, Pllllllleeeeease help me figure how why piece H is not snapping together with piece G. " In retrospect, there is nothing holy about staying up until 230am on Christmas morning being Santa Claus.

This is why my parents always gave me socks and underwear. They don't need instructions.

WTF is wrong with people?

2008-11-30T10:57:00.000-08:00

When for the sake of a bargain, you are willing to step over (and on) a lifeless body... these are problems of humanity that go beyond terrorists, defaulting mortgages, and our economic crisis. Humanity in that moment lost its soul.

This man was over 250 pounds, yet people in the search of a tv that is 50% off, decided that their wallet was more important than his life.

I am appalled beyond words.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/30/nyregion/30walmart.html?em

Does Being Moderate Mean Apathetic?

2008-11-06T09:03:00.001-08:00

Why does it seem these types are the majority? Are they? Is there no one else out there?

[Can any body hear me? *insert Pink Floyd riff here*]

I know there are alternative Christian perspectives. I know there are others out there that do not carry so much baggage. Does there really seem to be a need within the Christian faith for exclusivity, prejudice, and rigid dogma? Closed communion comes to mind. Since when did Jesus only let certain people come to Him?

As a Methodist, I enjoy being in the middle of the road (or at least our congregation is and I won't pretend to know enough about UMC to speak for the denomination). Maybe it is better to say, my church is welcoming to those who are middle of the road, liberal, and even conservative. We seem to have a good mix.

What is it about the moderates (Liberals who chose a church who might be right of their leanings, and Conservatives who tolerate a church who sometimes is a little too welcoming) that allow the Fallwells and Phelps of the world define Christianity? Is it our laid back nature to say, "Let them be?"

While that may have worked for The Beatles (or did it?), I am not sure it is working for me. I want to stand up and shout : YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR MANY OF US. But I am not a fan of shouting alone.

Thousands of passive church goers who join together to sing praises doesn't make media headlines in the same way protesting funerals and blaming hurricanes on the gays does.

We're boring. We're tolerant people who keep to ourselves. We have our opinions, but we don't force them on others. We are not threatening in anyway.

Chance and Coincidence

2008-11-04T23:15:00.000-08:00

Tonight I ran into a member of my church at the mall. My little one was at gymnastics and I was out of moisturizer. In theory, I could run over to the mall, get in and out quickly, and be back before she noticed I was not in the bleachers. Mission accomplished.

While making a mad dash past the perfume counter in Dillards (my eyes! my eyes!) I ran into a member of my church (we're everywhere). She was in my first Disciple class, started at COR-West with me, but I hadn't seen her or her kids in awhile. I had 10 minutes and we tried to do 9mos of catch up in that time. It was awesome and I miss her!

I told her I was batting about .250 for attendance this year. I'm struggling and my heart isn't in it. She informed me they started going back to main campus. She asked why I was struggling and I tried to sum it up succinct manner, which does not match my personality frankly! haha.

The short answer I gave her: The church seems to be going in so many directions, yet the sense of community I miss is even more evasive than 2 years ago when I first met her.

She replied, "yeah, if I was sick and in the hospital, you'll never have the phone tree calling on my behalf." Yet we both keep attending. When she asked why, I said... I have been going there for 10 years. I was 21 when I started. I walked the hymnals over from the old church. I have seen our church grow and struggle. To me, when I visit other churches, I feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend and if I officially quit... I think it would hurt worse than a breakup.

We exchanged cell #s and promised to find each other on facebook. Not only is it nice to run into someone from church, but someone who understands my struggle and is sharing it for her and her family. Maybe community at COR isn't lost afterall.

When Well Meaning Christians Attack

2008-10-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

What does a "seeker" look like to you? Can you tell that person when they walk into your church? Do they have it stamped on their forehead? What assumptions do you make about that person once you determined they are "unchurched"?

Obviously last night I did. I went to a Q&A for our west campus. My attendance has been about 20% this year, and frankly I was looking for a reason to change that. Unfortunately, I didn't find that.

I could go into the details of this lady that inspired my blog and why her final words of our conversation were, "it's ok, you're just a seeker and you'll find your way." I didn't realize I was lost. I won't go into those details, because frankly, they are not important to everyone else.

Of our 3 minute conversation ( or was it an interrogation?) she managed to sum up my journey in those words. You could argue that we're all seekers. Or that she meant well. But without recapping the conversation word by word, let's just say she saw me as a lost puppy with no clue where I was. She offended me.

I'm not used to people being up in my business like that and frankly, she needed to take 2 steps back. No one wonder Christians scare people. reminded me of the intensity of Mormon Missionaries. Of course, since we're good Christians, we know what's best and of course we are here to shepherd you and of course we know the right way. Right? *sigh*

Literally, I felt attacked. I have very little personal space, ask me anything and most of the time I'll answer it. This lady managed in less than 3 minutes to totally invade what little space I had.

How do we approach those we feel in need? Are we opening and welcoming to their point of view? Or do we make a bunch of assumptions and make sure those assumptions are know? Do we let the seeker (no matter their level) indicate what they need? Or do we tell them what is best for them?

I do not understand people.

2008-08-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

originally posted on myspace 8/15/2007

I don't understand how you can ask a person, "how do you feel about {insert some current event here}?" and they respond with, "I really don't know" or "I don't pay attention to the news" or "That doesn't really affect me."

But I guarantee if you ask that person:

"How many days did Paris stay in jail?"

THEY WILL KNOW!!!!!?!!!!!!?!!!!!

argggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(in my best charlie brown voice)

A Poem I Found and Liked. Not sure who the credit goes to.

2008-08-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

The fog lifted itself up from the ground and rises
To encircle me, fill me with the looming sense
Of impeding doom.

Suspended, as if waiting, in quiet anticipation
For better weather, for warmth, for sun,
for dissolution.

The vapor blankets the world beneath its fragile
Weaving, curling, furls
of nothingness.

My Religion has a Bigger "one" Than Yours. Take That!

2008-07-31T09:31:00.000-07:00

originally posted on myspace.com on July 31, 2006

This is what happens when we let men run the countries. We have conflicts, wars, police actions, etc. All because of testosterone posturing. Yes, folks, they have to prove to the world who is bigger.

Slap your religion behind your cause, and all of a sudden, your position is supposed to have validity, and the bombing is done because its Gods will. God hates those infidels across the border in case you didn't know.

A few random thoughts about God, war, and religion....

1) When it comes to killing in the name of your God, I especially get my panties in a wad. First of all, how do you KNOW you're right? Did God personally come down and tell you to kill those infidels across the border?

2) When God speaks to you, it's a good idea to listen.

3) When someone tells you God spoke to them though, it's a good idea to double-check. Here are a few examples:
~ David Koresh & the need to stockpile more ammunition than Ft. Bragg
~ that Utah polygamy-guy on the FBIs most wanted
~ and our current President who said God wanted him to win I always thought of God as more of a Libertarian.

I think religion is great and serves a purpose in many peoples lives. It gives purpose, direction, guidance, support, and a center they can come to when life gets crazy.

I also think it can be taken too far (and becomes a negative in life) and when it takes away a persons ability to think independently. Religion should be to enrich your life, not dictate every thought and action.

Killing in the name of religion is one of the most revolting things I can think of. Both sides pray to the same God before they go off to kill each other. In spite of the many differences among Christians, Jews, and Muslims, they share a fundamental belief in God as compassionate and just. Maybe a little less posturing and a little more compassion gets us back to where all religions think we should be.

Mega Churches Breed Apathy? Or just a place to hide?

2008-07-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

originally posted on personal blog on Feb 6, 2007 ( a little longer than I like my posts now!)

As I was sitting in service this weekend, I had some observations. With the amount of people in there (2/3 full, so I'm guessing about 1800 people or so)... the general lack of enthusiasm during the songs was surprising. I would think 1500-1800 people singing would rock the house (like the Christmas Eve sermon when we sing carols), but sadly enough, no. I can't sing, so I more or less lip-sync and maybe everyone else does the same. No one wants to be heard about the crowd, so all we hear is the 30 person praise band / choir.

Then, they were asking for the 5th week in a row for volunteers for the kids' Sunday school and nursery. Our pastor made an additional plea. You are supposed to volunteer 1 weekend a month if you use the nursery. Obviously people aren't, because out of a 8,000 person congregation, they do not have enough volunteers.

If you go to a big (mega) church, is it because they offer a wide variety of projects, or because you can hide? Does it breed apathy because you assume that "someone else will do it"?

If someone else is always going to do it, then who will? My guess is that the people who are the most active in our church are those who would be the most active no matter what congregation they belonged to, whether it was 200 or 2000 or 20,000.

The two main reasons why I started going to the church I do was:
1) the pastor was particularly engaging
2) I could go in and get lost in the crowd on Sunday and leave. I was fairly new to attending church again (did the usual drop out in late-teens, early 20s) and didn't WANT to be noticed.

Now, things have changed and I feel I'm outgrowing those reasons. Don't get me wrong, the Pastor is one of the best I've ever heard, but how many people do we lose between the cracks?

When you're in a small congregation, people notice when you've been gone a month. Of course, we're supposed to belong to one or more small groups but since there are 5 services you can attend with 1000-2000 people in each one - how would they know if I was there or not unless we discussed attendance in small group? I rarely see anyone from my small groups at a service.

As I looked around and realized I was in the heart of Leawood, that maybe it was the affluence of the group that breeded apathy, much more than the size of our church. I believe that most Americans are apathetic and unwilling to personally risk their comfort to help others or make this a better society.

I have mentioned before that several trips to our sister church in Honduras had to be canceled because of lack of volunteers. I would LOVE to go, but do not have the $1800 it requires. On the same note, I did not donate even $20 to sponsor someone else. Shame on me. If everyone on the rolls donated $20 (most probably spend more than that on a week's worth of Starbucks), just think what we could do for that mission. I just did the math - it would be enough money to spend approximately 130-135 volunteers for the next year.

Then I thought of another kind of apathy I believe that runs in our church, apathy towards the message. Sometimes I get the feeling as long as we go in there and get a "good sermon" that doesn't deal with anything too painful or shocking or mind-bending, it's ok.

It's ok to talk about Jesus' messages of love, but let's not touch the UMC position on abortion for example. We can talk about how to be a better person, but the one sermon we had on homosexuality caused quite the uproar. Why is that a bad thing? Why not preach a sermon that causes people to squirm a bit and rethink for themselves what their stance on something is?

I truly believe that a change in the individual life marks a Christian, not any church, however well attended. So, if people are not stepping up to volunteer or to be challenged in their faith, why are they there? Why are they content to sit back and let others do the "works" of the Christian faith?

If you asked many of the member of any church, I'm sure they would cite poverty, hunger, genocide, etc as concerns - but how many look for ways within their own community to fight those issues? One of the reasons I continue to go to my church, is that because of the mass, we are able to accomplish a lot of things in the community that smaller churches are not. But I wonder what percentage of our congregation actually participates? Or is it the same people volunteering each month? (the 80/20 rule maybe?)

If we can't even get parents to volunteer in their own kids' class, then as a group of Christians, how are we supposed to pool resources and fight many of the social ills of today? There is no place for apathy in a world which sees 20,000 or more children die each day because of poverty related conditions.

If Noah Blogged.

2008-07-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/noahs-blog

This is funny. At least I think it's funny....... I won't copy and paste the whole thing here, but some of my favorites..... please click the links for the full piece. (also click on the link for some of Noah's fav drink recipes). Peace.

Day 18
Note to self: next time I’m on a long cruise and I want to play badminton and I only have one birdie, play below deck. I’m so stupid.

Day 20
I hesitate to write this down, but here goes. . . .

I was working late last night when I felt something bite the back of my neck. Without thinking, I slapped it. Long story short, the new world might have to do without the zhingi-zhingi fly.

Day 25
New Year’s Day. A few resolutions for this year:

- Lose weight (let’s face it, I’m not 300 years old anymore)

- Work out more

- Read the entire Bible (there’s only four chapters in the whole thing, you think I would have done this one already)

-After we land, once a week: date night with the missus.

Let's All Join Hands and Fight Fictional Evil!

2008-07-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

originally post on myspace on 7/12/2007

Harry Potter is of da Devil!!!!!!
(haha, I just had to get in a Waterboy comment here somewhere)

puh-lease.

Once again, a group of self-righteous, probably "Christian", groups are proclaiming the Harry Potter is promoting the work of the devil.

Sad to say, many committed Christians miss this key point:

The work is fiction, yet people still fear it.

These same Christians are probably ones that want their kids to read CS Lewis', "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" series because Lewis was using these fictional mechanisms as allegory for Bible stories.... not sure that was obvious to me reading it in the 3rd grade, but ok... I'll go with that.

(As a side note, I think it is safe to assume that many of those opposed to Harry Potter have never actually bothered to read that which they are so upset about, and of course should come as no surprise that they have never actually bothered to read the C.S. Lewis books they are so enthusiastic about.)

Would God allow sorcery, magic, and trickery (something he abhors), to be used to promote his Kingdom??? Would drug dealing be acceptable to God if tracts were delivered along with the smack? Of course not!!! (unless you're that preacher in Colorado who thought exchanging meth for gay prostitution was ok.)

This is not to say that Harry Potter has a Christian message, or that J.K. Rowlings' work is on par with Lewis'; far from it! The fact remains that Harry Potter is fiction. I know some people might have nothing better to do than protest this movie, but wouldn't your time be better well spent improving His Kingdom on Earth? READ: Get off your arse and go help the "least and the lost" that Jesus was so concerned about....

This isn't the first time groups like this have gotten their panties in a wad.... remember these instances from when we were kids?

The Smurfs. Yes those cuddly little ficitonal blue characters who ran around the woods singing songs. The Devil works through them, yes it's true. Papa Smurf, well he protects his people with magic.... so it must be evil [end sarcasm].

Also, there was the D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) uproar (not allowed in our home). Apparently, the extremists in the church were not aware that the magic swords and dragons were not "real." My mom was convinced if we played, we would become suicidal and she would "lose" us to the dark side.

In more recent years, the Teletubbies came under fire. (If you can't recall, this was a British TV sensation featuring large fuzzy aliens with rather pleasant dispositions). The character of "Tinkie-Winkie" was said to be openly promoting the homosexual movement. Not sure why he is "more" gay than the others, but the rumor persisted nonetheless.

I am sure there are many more besides these and the additional attacks on Disney, Vampire movies, to other occult movies.

What I find ironic is that these protestors will continue to rally against [fill in the blank cause] rather than do something sensible like spread the Gospel. That is, if the Gospel is really what they are concerned about (which is a whole other blog in my mind).

If your kids wants to stay home from church to read the new Harry Potter book, it's not because s/he's been overcome by witchcraft, it's just simply more interesting than a boring sermon. Kids will do/say anything to get out of church. I know I tried.

Harry Potter does something that our church(es) lacks... engaging children. That is what I think is upsetting the parents (maybe on a subconcious level) more than whitchcraft. I wonder how many of the concerned parents allow their children to watch 1 hour violent dramas such as CSI or Law and Order or many of the others out there?

In the end, What are these parents teaching their child? That fictional evil is more dangerous than the real evils in the world? I am willing to bet these parents have spent more time explaing why their kids can't read Potter than they have talking to their children about poverty, environmental problems, drugs, casual sex, or so many of the other issues that affect our society today.

Everyone needs to stand up for what they believe in, and if you feel Potter or [fill in the blank media] is the greatest threat to the church, our society, and your children.... then PLEASE, put your heart and soul into that cause. We need passionate people out there!

At the same time though, I would encourage each of us to once in awhile step back, reexamine our "causes" and put them in perspective of the bigger picture -- how is this affecting my children, my family, and my community (in that order IMO). If you're worried about it from a Christian perspective... how is this affecting my relationship with God?

Honestly, I don't see where Harry Potter or the Smurfs should even warrant this level of facination or effort.

But that is my view from my pew.

2008-07-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

originally most on myspace 7/5/2007

Confession, my daughter goes to Catholic School. (STA from here on out).

I hate a love/hate relationship with STA. Everything about the school we love. The teachers, the staff, the way things are run, the PTA, their curriculum, and the class sizes. I don't even mind her going to Mass every Tuesday morning.

Her paternal family is 99% Catholic. My side is a mish-mash of Christian beliefs.

So, what's isn't to like? It's simple.... we're not Catholic. It bothers pumpkin. I explain to her that her dad is Catholic, and he went to Catholic school. I feel left out of some parental happenings around the school, and I know it's because we don't go to church there.

In a previous life, I was married to a debvout Catholic, and it does not bother me she goes there. It's a good education.

The community at STA is something to envied. They play and pray together. Lots of the teachers at STA also were students there. when I think of how churches should be, most of the time I think of my small town church. This is the closest thing "in town" that I have found that even comes close.

I know she'll go to kindergarten there, but after that...... we'll see. I'd like that $600/mo back in mama's pocket sometime.

My bebe? She's worth every penny!

And who knows.... maybe I'm learning something about community that once I can articulate better, I can take back to my own church....

2008-07-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

originally posted on myspace 7/3/2007

Joy is my assistant. A ultra-conservative-man-is-head-of-the-household-all-non-christians-will-go-to-hell-Christian. I love her truly and see is not scared to challenge my viewpoint. I like that and she is highly respected by me for that.

Today she said to me, "Jen, you're the only person I know who teaches Bible classes and feels ok using the word fuck on occasion."

While I'm not proud of the fact I use the word (or a lot of the words that come out of my mouth... usually when talking to truckers it seems), I don't go around feeling holier-than-thou because I teach a Disciple class. I find religious humor funny.... if we can't laugh at ourselves.... then we need to lighten up.

I figure God knows where my heart is and if I want to tattoo myself, have multiple piercings, and shout HOT DAMN! when excited about something.... it STILL doesn't change where my heart is.

WTF? A "Christian" telling someone else they are going to hell?

2008-07-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

Every time I hear a variation of this story, I get angry:

* Christian finds out someone else isn't baptized.

* Christian goes on to tell the person how they will burn.

* Christian is not apologetic or explains position

* Christian is smug and walks away not even knowing what they did was very not Christian-like.

(based on a true story that happened to one of the few people I consider a true friend this week)

I get angry at the so-called Christian who put themselves up on a pedestal above those they perceive not only as non-Christians, but lesser-Christians.

I am angry at their arrogance that they would tell a stranger, a waitress in a pub, that she is going to hell.

I am angry at their ignorance of the scope of God's love, which is obvious when they tell said waitress she also has condemned her son to hell.

I am angry that this "Christian" would dismiss and try to invalidate in front of God a marriage of love, mutual respect, and deep commitment based on some assumptions the patron has made.

I am angry that non-Christians (or nominally religious people) have more encounters with these types of "Christians" ( do I have to keep calling them that?) rather than ones who can share The Light with them.

I am angry that this "Christian" thinks they know enough to know the mind of God.

I am angry that this patron of the pub, I think, exemplifies what most non-religious people think of Christians.

I am angry.

I am embarrassed.

(maybe there is some irony in me implying the "f" word in my title and calling myself a Christian, but that is not directed at someone, and is strictly between God and myself)

Dating a Minister

2008-06-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

Has it's own challenges when it comes to making plans. I wouldn't change it for the world, but seriously... can we be anonymous anywhere around town?

That's all I'm going to say about that.

Peace Within Ourselves

2008-06-07T22:49:00.001-07:00

Thomas Merton said:

There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence that is activism and overwork....The rush and pressure of modern life are a form of violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.

To quote Buddha:

If your compassion does not include yourself, then it is incomplete.

To have peace in the world seems like such a daunting task. How can we save the world? Can we build new churches? Send out new missionaries? Donate more? Consume less? While I think all of those things have a place, the place most overlooked is our own souls.

The stillness that our souls desire and feed off of, is chased away by our need to be doing something.

Can we bring peace to our households if we can not even play a game with our children without checking the blackberry? How many of us don't have time for silly board games when there are activities every night? If we are running non-stop, then how are we teaching our children to find their center, their stillness?

In our frenzy to lead complete lives, are we remembering the basic tenants of sharing? We can not share something that we do not posses ourselves.

If we are not bringing peace into our households, then is it possible, we are bringing in the type of violence that Merton speaks of?

If we can not find a peace and stillness within ourselves, then how will we teach our children?

If our children are not taught this at home, how will they go into the world and share peace and Light?

If our children are not centered, then how are they teaching others their light from within? They can't. If we are not spreading that peace and light from within, then aren't we doing our Lord a disservice by keeping it in ourselves?

“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.” ~ john lenon

Finding Peace in Our Lives.

2008-06-07T22:43:00.001-07:00

Last night I read from Being Peace and the following passage jumped out at me:

There is a Zen story about a man who is riding a horse that is galloping very quickly. Another man, standing alongside the road, yells at him, “Where are you going?” And the man on the horse yells back, “I don’t know, ask the horse!” I think that is our situation. We are riding many horses that we cannot control. (Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace, Parallax Press, Berkeley, CA, 1987)

I think sometimes in our lives we allow things to lead us, until we're unable to control the direction life is leading us. I think this story can speak to many on multiple levels.

It would be nice to wake up tomorrow and know where I am leading my horses rather than wondering where my horses will lead me.

Lord means "master", not mascot.

2008-06-06T09:20:00.000-07:00

I moderate a Mormon Debate Board on beliefnet in my "free" time (which really means I sneak in/out during the day while at work).

It's a very active board with some interesting topics. Today, someone made the comment:

"I'm always astounded by those who think the main/only point of the Gospel is to get into heaven."

I agree with the said poster.

As a Christian, I find myself CONSTANTLY embarrassed by those who I feel have hijacked the religion. Maybe some of those have never READ the Bible, they are just looking at the cliff notes they get in a 15-25 min sermon on Sundays or trying to remember Sunday School lessons from years (*cough*3rd grade*cough*) ago. So, along that line.... SELFISH CHRISTIANS bother me even more. In fact, you can't be selfish AND be a Christian. (Study the New Testament, you'll see what I mean)

I have HUGE problems with heaven/hell centered preaching.

First of all, the preoccupation with salvation/afterlife I think causes some to devalue other things in THIS life. The importance of death is lifted up so high, the life before our mortal death is trivialized, causing many to forget to love thy neighbor. Remember that? One of the two GREATEST commandments?

Secondly, since when is Jesus only about personal salvation? Your friendly buddy Christ? Seriously, get over yourself. In a self-centered (how am I getting to heaven) and hell-centered (I am only doing these things to prevent myself from going to hell) salvation, doesn't the teaching of Jesus just get reduced to a quick means to get to Heaven? We want to do it as painlessly as possible too.

Third, if you're so focused on self-salvation through your gospel, are you starting to lose focus that Jesus was the Savior and Lord of the world? Someone said to me once, Lord means "master", not mascot. I can't agree more. Before you argue with me, take a moment to think about that statement.

Personally, I shake my head at most Christians (which, now I'm sinning because admitedly, I'm being judgmental. Don't worry, I have no doubt that will be dealt with later.).

We've dumbed down Jesus to Buddy Christ sitting there next to us watching tv, enjoying our golden ticket into heaven. The oompa loompas of life, er, I mean angels and messengers are just there to guide us through this icky time where we just wait it out until we get "there". I mean, it's about the destination, not the journey, right? (read: sarcasm).

The 10 Worst Movies About Jesus

2008-06-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

The 10 Worst Movies About Jesus (Not Counting The Passion of the Christ Because That Would Be Too Easy)

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/10-worst-movies-about-jesus

Who Stole My Jesus - part 1

2008-05-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

I want to know where my Jesus is.

Gone is the Jesus from childhood, who sat in the painting with the children around him welcoming them to him. That Jesus let me know I wasn't alone.

Gone is the Jesus I learned that is my personal savior. You know the one, that without belief in Him, there's no way to get the golden ticket. That Jesus let me know despite being who I was, I could go home.

Gone is the Jesus with the miracles, such as blood into wine, fish for many, healing the leapers, etc. That Jesus let me know that God doesn't ignore us, that He so loved us, He sent his only Son.

My Jesus is all of those things. He is that word that is on the tip of my tongue, but escapes me... where you almost have it, and it is very familiar, yet eludes you.

It has also come to my attention, that my Jesus is also none of those things from above.

If you're raised Christian, you KNOW He is the son of God. To think anything is well, not Christian *insert gasp here* You also KNOW that He saves. (Have I ever mentioned how much I love the shirt where Jesus is defending the hockey goal? )

Beyond those two basic precepts, there is the conservative Jesus... the way and the light Jesus who is the ONLY one who can save us all. Insert China-child argument here.

Then there is the Liberal Jesus, who was divine, but really is more of a really great prophet that teaches us to love. Insert Atheist's kids have souls too argument here.

Really, there are thousands of versions of Jesus and everyone seems to have the right and true one, unfortunately, everyone else just doesn't get it and refuses to come to their Jesus.

I don't get it.

Why is it so easy for people to believe He is divine? Why is it so hard for me to believe the same?

Why do so many want to argue for their Jesus? If Jesus is a personal savior, should our point of view regarding Him be personal as well?

Why do I have to take on faith the trinity? Does that mean St Peter will send me down the other escalator? What if He isn't The Word? What if he was just a man? Would that be so bad?

I could go on and on. I miss the days of I knew who Jesus was. I feel like he's been hijacked by agendas and His image morphed by those who insist he must have looked like he was raised in Sweden instead of the middle east and he only loves Americans.

Honestly, I miss my Jesus and for everyone who has taken Him away piece by piece and hijacked him, shame on you. I want my Jesus back.

This kills me.

2008-04-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

There is nothing else to add.

It makes me laugh every time.

Some Christians Can't Leave Yoga Alone

2008-04-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

originally posted on myspace.com on April 27, 2006

Oh for pete's sake..... are you serious? (for the record, I am not making fun of fundamentalists, everyone has a right to their beliefs, I just find this a silly thing to split hairs over. that's all.... my opinion, nothing more, nothing less.).

Here's a link to the article : Yoga with a Christian Bent

Because something is steeped in a religious tradition other than your own, you stand a chance of committing a crime against God and your values? Is this what they are really suggesting?

Could these close-minded group consider for a moment that Learning from other traditions while staying within your own is totally possible?

Contrary to what they might fear about the perils of integrating Eastern disciplines and attitudes, within another tradition, they might discover what they are seeking - - centeredness (is that a word?). The various Hindu and Buddhist practices give very basic and effective ways to quiet agitation in his body and mind. In turn, that tranquility allows a deeper kind of awareness to surface and awakened a natural sense of love and compassion. Stilling the mind will never drew you away from Jesus Christ; it draws you closer.

Most of us don't realize that the various religions we engage in have been influenced and enlivened in some way by different beliefs and practices around them. None of them has existed in a vacuum. In a similar way, what we learn as individuals from a spiritual tradition other than our own can infuse vitality into our path. Do you think these Christians realize that many of our traditions coincide with pagan festivals?

Coming from a fundamentalist upbringing, I know this attitude expressed in this article is not held only by a select few.

Honestly, if these people were secure in their faith, they would not worry about something like meditation interfering.

After all, the body itself is neither Hindu nor Baptist nor Catholic nor Muslim.

What Is Your Theological Worldview?

2008-04-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

a quiz I saw on Locust and Honey... and I thought I'd take it. A little different outcome than my beliefnet quiz.

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern

You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

93%

Classical Liberal

71%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

68%

Modern Liberal

61%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

50%

Roman Catholic

43%

Neo orthodox

43%

Reformed Evangelical

25%

Fundamentalist

14%