"Christian" Music has forever been ruined for me.

First it was South Park.

Then The Wittenburg Door.

Now, I can't listen to it on the radio or in church without giggling a little. Why? Read On....

I was never a fan of Contemporary "Christian" music to begin with. I mean, some of it is ok, but the rest of it to me is redundant, repetitive, and boring. To me, it doesn't praise the Lord, it's all about ME! ME! ME! Jesus save ME! Jesus help ME! MY relationship with you. Ad naseum....

It was kind of a secret. Something you can laugh about with your atheist and agnostic friends, but not something I would bring up at church. Then I realized I wasn't alone with the summer edition of Wittenburg Door's guide to Contemporary Christian Music : http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/your-guide-contemporary-christian-music

before that though, was a South Park episode where the boys decide they want to start Christian Rock Band (for the platinum record , not to inspire). It really funny if you can get past the language. IMO. It does make a point about the music. Basically they take old love songs and at the end of each line, they say, "Jesus". One example is "Three Times a Lady" by the Commodores is changed to "Three Times my Savior". Funny because I swear I've heard the same thing on Sunday.

If you love CCM and it works for you, by all means keep listening. I'm not sure the collection on my ipod would inspire you the same way it inspires me. On the other hand, if CCM lovers think this music is going to appeal to the young nominally religious crowd, they should probably rethink their game plan. If I'm annoyed by the sound of the music, I am pretty sure the message will be lost on me.

I'm just glad I'm not alone in my annoyance. Thanks SP and WD!

Baby Jesus, forgive me!

Christmas is all about The Baby. I mean, who doesn't like The Baby? It's a great story and full of hope and face it... (most) babies are just darn cute. I have no doubt that the holy glow about Jesus made him cuter than most.

Even Talladega Nights paid homage to The Baby before every dinner:

Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces... new born infant jesus,don't even know a word yet.

or

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son's, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley

or

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

Usually, I don't even like those types of movies, but this cracked me up. So, why does Baby Jesus need to forgive me?

Well, first of all for laughing at that movie.

Mostly though, it has to do with Christmas. Christmas Eve to be exact. This should be a time of celebration of His birth. Instead, millions of parents across the country come home from midnight candlelight service and turn into a amateur Santa Claus. That is not the bad part... the bad part is what comes out of my mouth when it's 2am and I can't figure out why the playhouse is not fitting together. (No way am I buying her a bike for Christmas) Seriously, I don't celebrate my daughters birthday by a barrage of evil thoughts and words only suitable for HBO against toy makers and why instructions always seem to lack one important piece of information. So, why does this seem impossible to avoid on Christmas Eve?

I may pray in the wee hours Christmas morning, but it is admittedly a selfish prayer. Somewhere along the lines of, "Dear Lord, Pllllllleeeeease help me figure how why piece H is not snapping together with piece G. " In retrospect, there is nothing holy about staying up until 230am on Christmas morning being Santa Claus.

This is why my parents always gave me socks and underwear. They don't need instructions.

If Noah Blogged.

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/noahs-blog

This is funny. At least I think it's funny....... I won't copy and paste the whole thing here, but some of my favorites..... please click the links for the full piece. (also click on the link for some of Noah's fav drink recipes). Peace.

Day 18
Note to self: next time I’m on a long cruise and I want to play badminton and I only have one birdie, play below deck. I’m so stupid.

Day 20
I hesitate to write this down, but here goes. . . .

I was working late last night when I felt something bite the back of my neck. Without thinking, I slapped it. Long story short, the new world might have to do without the zhingi-zhingi fly.

Day 25
New Year’s Day. A few resolutions for this year:

- Lose weight (let’s face it, I’m not 300 years old anymore)

- Work out more

- Read the entire Bible (there’s only four chapters in the whole thing, you think I would have done this one already)

-After we land, once a week: date night with the missus.

Let's All Join Hands and Fight Fictional Evil!

originally post on myspace on 7/12/2007


Harry Potter is of da Devil!!!!!!
(haha, I just had to get in a Waterboy comment here somewhere)

puh-lease.

Once again, a group of self-righteous, probably "Christian", groups are proclaiming the Harry Potter is promoting the work of the devil.

Sad to say, many committed Christians miss this key point:

The work is fiction, yet people still fear it.

These same Christians are probably ones that want their kids to read CS Lewis', "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" series because Lewis was using these fictional mechanisms as allegory for Bible stories.... not sure that was obvious to me reading it in the 3rd grade, but ok... I'll go with that.

(As a side note, I think it is safe to assume that many of those opposed to Harry Potter have never actually bothered to read that which they are so upset about, and of course should come as no surprise that they have never actually bothered to read the C.S. Lewis books they are so enthusiastic about.)

Would God allow sorcery, magic, and trickery (something he abhors), to be used to promote his Kingdom??? Would drug dealing be acceptable to God if tracts were delivered along with the smack? Of course not!!! (unless you're that preacher in Colorado who thought exchanging meth for gay prostitution was ok.)

This is not to say that Harry Potter has a Christian message, or that J.K. Rowlings' work is on par with Lewis'; far from it! The fact remains that Harry Potter is fiction. I know some people might have nothing better to do than protest this movie, but wouldn't your time be better well spent improving His Kingdom on Earth? READ: Get off your arse and go help the "least and the lost" that Jesus was so concerned about....

This isn't the first time groups like this have gotten their panties in a wad.... remember these instances from when we were kids?

The Smurfs. Yes those cuddly little ficitonal blue characters who ran around the woods singing songs. The Devil works through them, yes it's true. Papa Smurf, well he protects his people with magic.... so it must be evil [end sarcasm].

Also, there was the D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) uproar (not allowed in our home). Apparently, the extremists in the church were not aware that the magic swords and dragons were not "real." My mom was convinced if we played, we would become suicidal and she would "lose" us to the dark side.

In more recent years, the Teletubbies came under fire. (If you can't recall, this was a British TV sensation featuring large fuzzy aliens with rather pleasant dispositions). The character of "Tinkie-Winkie" was said to be openly promoting the homosexual movement. Not sure why he is "more" gay than the others, but the rumor persisted nonetheless.

I am sure there are many more besides these and the additional attacks on Disney, Vampire movies, to other occult movies.

What I find ironic is that these protestors will continue to rally against [fill in the blank cause] rather than do something sensible like spread the Gospel. That is, if the Gospel is really what they are concerned about (which is a whole other blog in my mind).

If your kids wants to stay home from church to read the new Harry Potter book, it's not because s/he's been overcome by witchcraft, it's just simply more interesting than a boring sermon. Kids will do/say anything to get out of church. I know I tried.

Harry Potter does something that our church(es) lacks... engaging children. That is what I think is upsetting the parents (maybe on a subconcious level) more than whitchcraft. I wonder how many of the concerned parents allow their children to watch 1 hour violent dramas such as CSI or Law and Order or many of the others out there?

In the end, What are these parents teaching their child? That fictional evil is more dangerous than the real evils in the world? I am willing to bet these parents have spent more time explaing why their kids can't read Potter than they have talking to their children about poverty, environmental problems, drugs, casual sex, or so many of the other issues that affect our society today.

Everyone needs to stand up for what they believe in, and if you feel Potter or [fill in the blank media] is the greatest threat to the church, our society, and your children.... then PLEASE, put your heart and soul into that cause. We need passionate people out there!

At the same time though, I would encourage each of us to once in awhile step back, reexamine our "causes" and put them in perspective of the bigger picture -- how is this affecting my children, my family, and my community (in that order IMO). If you're worried about it from a Christian perspective... how is this affecting my relationship with God?

Honestly, I don't see where Harry Potter or the Smurfs should even warrant this level of facination or effort.

But that is my view from my pew.

The 10 Worst Movies About Jesus

The 10 Worst Movies About Jesus (Not Counting The Passion of the Christ Because That Would Be Too Easy)

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/10-worst-movies-about-jesus

This kills me.

There is nothing else to add.

It makes me laugh every time.

Some Christians Can't Leave Yoga Alone

originally posted on myspace.com on April 27, 2006

Oh for pete's sake..... are you serious? (for the record, I am not making fun of fundamentalists, everyone has a right to their beliefs, I just find this a silly thing to split hairs over. that's all.... my opinion, nothing more, nothing less.).

Here's a link to the article : Yoga with a Christian Bent

Because something is steeped in a religious tradition other than your own, you stand a chance of committing a crime against God and your values? Is this what they are really suggesting?

Could these close-minded group consider for a moment that Learning from other traditions while staying within your own is totally possible?

Contrary to what they might fear about the perils of integrating Eastern disciplines and attitudes, within another tradition, they might discover what they are seeking - - centeredness (is that a word?). The various Hindu and Buddhist practices give very basic and effective ways to quiet agitation in his body and mind. In turn, that tranquility allows a deeper kind of awareness to surface and awakened a natural sense of love and compassion. Stilling the mind will never drew you away from Jesus Christ; it draws you closer.

Most of us don't realize that the various religions we engage in have been influenced and enlivened in some way by different beliefs and practices around them. None of them has existed in a vacuum. In a similar way, what we learn as individuals from a spiritual tradition other than our own can infuse vitality into our path. Do you think these Christians realize that many of our traditions coincide with pagan festivals?

Coming from a fundamentalist upbringing, I know this attitude expressed in this article is not held only by a select few.

Honestly, if these people were secure in their faith, they would not worry about something like meditation interfering.

After all, the body itself is neither Hindu nor Baptist nor Catholic nor Muslim.