Trifecta of Disaster

Very rarely do I cross-post between my two blogs, but thought someone might find the humor in my not-so-humorous workout this week! haha

In January, I had a crazy friend talk me off the fence about a triathlon. Found one for July, so luckily I have some time, but not much.

First things first, I have to learn to swim. Keep in mind, I can swim playing around at the pool, lake, or in the ocean, but have never swam a lap before Jan 2009. Seriously. So, I noticed the community center is offering a triathlon swim class on Saturday mornings. I take it and have been trying to practice at lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

This weeks practice? The trifecta of disaster.

First. I walk out in my swim suit to only discover another trader from another company works out at my gym and is sitting in the hot tub. I've known him 12 years. Greeeeat, an audience. Disaster part 1.

Secondly, I suck at swimming. Truly this is one of the hardest things I've had to learn and I hate not doing anything well. I am also convinced I am going to die this summer of cancer of the stomach considering how much pool water I manage to ingest. Dear lord, how hard can this be? I gulp so much air, I burp chlorinated water for an hour after practicing. My stomach will hurt for 2 hours after a practice haha

Third, the middle aged men at the pool don't help. They are swimming 2 or 3 laps to my one then like to head over to the hot tub and watch me struggle. Keep in mind, these men have bellies bigger round than my ass circumference and look like they would have a coronary if they tried touch football with their grandkids. They like to comment on how "this week looks a lot better than last". Did I mention colleague from other company is watching all of this?

So, add together:
water in stomach +
middle aged men kicking my butt +
audience from a colleague I wish had never seen me in a swim suit
= trifecta for disaster.

Said friend who kicked me off the fence? He said, "it sucks until it doesn't." I hope he's right.

Who Stole my Jesus revisited.

Last May I wrote: http://view-from-the-pew.blogspot.com/2008/06/who-stole-my-jesus-part-1.html. Which basically is a spin off of a book I read. My Jesus was stolen from me.

Almost a year later, I think I better defined the Jesus I was seeking (is that really Him though, or am I pushing him into my box?), but it's still not clear. I also have not found a community which shares that lens. Sometimes I'm jealous of the happy-clappy-fundamentalist-bible-cheering-crowd. Seriously. They have support in numbers. If you think about it, there is no shortage of people to claim the republicans divinity, abortion is the biggest threat to Christianity, and that all non-Christians are damned. Unfortunately, I don't fit into that mass, so I'm back to square one.

I found that if you start questioning that Jesus had to die. Or if Jesus was even divine, and suddenly you're alone in a crowd.

Jesus is out there. I could tell you 2 experiences of how I know, but short of coming out a Minister's mouth, you'd probably think I was crazy. Lord knows I wonder some days myself.

I thought I would have found my Jesus by now. He's not where I've been looking, so as Einstein might suggest... in order to prevent insanity, it's time to stop looking where I've been and try somewhere new.

"Christian" Music has forever been ruined for me.

First it was South Park.

Then The Wittenburg Door.

Now, I can't listen to it on the radio or in church without giggling a little. Why? Read On....

I was never a fan of Contemporary "Christian" music to begin with. I mean, some of it is ok, but the rest of it to me is redundant, repetitive, and boring. To me, it doesn't praise the Lord, it's all about ME! ME! ME! Jesus save ME! Jesus help ME! MY relationship with you. Ad naseum....

It was kind of a secret. Something you can laugh about with your atheist and agnostic friends, but not something I would bring up at church. Then I realized I wasn't alone with the summer edition of Wittenburg Door's guide to Contemporary Christian Music : http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/your-guide-contemporary-christian-music

before that though, was a South Park episode where the boys decide they want to start Christian Rock Band (for the platinum record , not to inspire). It really funny if you can get past the language. IMO. It does make a point about the music. Basically they take old love songs and at the end of each line, they say, "Jesus". One example is "Three Times a Lady" by the Commodores is changed to "Three Times my Savior". Funny because I swear I've heard the same thing on Sunday.

If you love CCM and it works for you, by all means keep listening. I'm not sure the collection on my ipod would inspire you the same way it inspires me. On the other hand, if CCM lovers think this music is going to appeal to the young nominally religious crowd, they should probably rethink their game plan. If I'm annoyed by the sound of the music, I am pretty sure the message will be lost on me.

I'm just glad I'm not alone in my annoyance. Thanks SP and WD!

Dolphus Weary and notes in the margin.

My little one and I went today to listen to a speaker at church, Dr Dolphus Weary. Google him for his biography, that's not what I want to spend space on.

He spoke briefly about his book, I Ain't Comin Back and spoke a lot about race within the Christian community. If you read my blog at all, you know I've lost my Jesus, so I find speakers who talk about "Christian community" fascinating. Throw in my personal interest of urban plights and I am one captivated audience member. I could have listened to him for another 90 minutes.

On his biographical information sheet, I wrote in the margins... Not every note will become a blog entry, but most will ;) Here we go in order my notes:

• Racism no more in the body of Christ
• How is God preparing us for this?
• How do you arrive at your own answers?
• Where does compassion lead us?
• How do we bring God here now?
• Where are you running to? Where are you running from?
• We allow other things to get in the way of dealing with racism (the elephant)
• What positive influence to I give to my family?
  
• More to do with exposure than intelligence
• The gospel must break across historical barriers
• The problem with poor communicities is they aren't exposed to people who open up their world
• We don't have relationships. Relationships take time
• Be willing to be a learner
• Help me understand your lens.
• Planning. working. dreaming.
• people are quick work, but slow to build relationship

Out of context to someone who didn't hear his talk today, these things might seem odd and random. But each one elicits a strong emotion from me. Each one screams at me based on things I want to accomplish in my life, and things I've done.

Our vision, whether it's at COR or in another capacity, should be to reconcile and walk together.

Erring on the Side of Mercy

erring on the side of mercy......

Seems simple enough. If you're not sure, EOTSOM. Right?

In a situation would you rather judge or EOTSOM?

[Not sure I'll ever use this acronym/abbreviation again, but I'm not sure I want to type it out again and again and feel lazy to c/p LOL ]

When I err on the side of mercy and it appears I made the "wrong" choice, did I really?

Baby Jesus, forgive me!

Christmas is all about The Baby. I mean, who doesn't like The Baby? It's a great story and full of hope and face it... (most) babies are just darn cute. I have no doubt that the holy glow about Jesus made him cuter than most.

Even Talladega Nights paid homage to The Baby before every dinner:

Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces... new born infant jesus,don't even know a word yet.

or

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son's, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley

or

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

Usually, I don't even like those types of movies, but this cracked me up. So, why does Baby Jesus need to forgive me?

Well, first of all for laughing at that movie.

Mostly though, it has to do with Christmas. Christmas Eve to be exact. This should be a time of celebration of His birth. Instead, millions of parents across the country come home from midnight candlelight service and turn into a amateur Santa Claus. That is not the bad part... the bad part is what comes out of my mouth when it's 2am and I can't figure out why the playhouse is not fitting together. (No way am I buying her a bike for Christmas) Seriously, I don't celebrate my daughters birthday by a barrage of evil thoughts and words only suitable for HBO against toy makers and why instructions always seem to lack one important piece of information. So, why does this seem impossible to avoid on Christmas Eve?

I may pray in the wee hours Christmas morning, but it is admittedly a selfish prayer. Somewhere along the lines of, "Dear Lord, Pllllllleeeeease help me figure how why piece H is not snapping together with piece G. " In retrospect, there is nothing holy about staying up until 230am on Christmas morning being Santa Claus.

This is why my parents always gave me socks and underwear. They don't need instructions.

WTF is wrong with people?

When for the sake of a bargain, you are willing to step over (and on) a lifeless body... these are problems of humanity that go beyond terrorists, defaulting mortgages, and our economic crisis. Humanity in that moment lost its soul.

This man was over 250 pounds, yet people in the search of a tv that is 50% off, decided that their wallet was more important than his life.

I am appalled beyond words.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/30/nyregion/30walmart.html?em